January 2010  ^top of page

Jeremy Clarkson's Rant:

"I've given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I'm afraid I've decided that it's no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I'm afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn't alive any more.

He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country's top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels, because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt on.

I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn't bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he's resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.

There's talk of emigration in the air. It's everywhere I go. Parties. Work. In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can't see the point because she won't be going to university, because she doesn't have a beak or flippers or a qualification in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don't live in America .

Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can't stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can't understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation's capital. They can't understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can't understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it's racist.

And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 billion of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn't understand because he's a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, "I've had enough of this. I'm off."

It's a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained, Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral, trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual, mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set up shop somewhere else. But where?

You can't go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can't go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don't sweep your lawn properly, and you can't go to Italy because you'll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse's head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for "organising" a plumber.

You can't go to Australia because it's full of things that will eat you, you can't go to New Zealand because they don't accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can't go to Monte Carlo because they don't accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can't go to Spain because you're not called Del and you weren't involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can't go to Germany ... because you just can't.

The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you'll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it's okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can't go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

Canada's full of people pretending to be French, South Africa's too risky, Russia's worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn't help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt.

But wherever you go you'll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.

I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it's been for decades, but the lunatics who've made it so ghastly are on their way out. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.

So actually I do see a reason to be miserable.

Which is why I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit."

(This is a splendid rant from Jeremy Clarkson. It's so accurate, so gloomy, it cheered me up a little.)

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Who Ruined Modern Britain?

I wish I had written the following words. I have been thinking what is expressed below this for years, but the very eloquent Quentin Letts has written it so much better than I. Read on....

[Bloody] Gordon Brown - When did you last see the police driving around in anything but a shiny new car? When did you last see a council headquarters which was not the smartest, most overlit, swankiest building in town? When did you last hear of any public body announcing proudly that it would hope to do less in the coming year in order to save the country some money?

There is a reason Britain has such punishing rates of taxation. It is that politicians have decided there is no shame in extravagance. There is nothing wrong, as far as they are concerned, in spending every last penny they can - and more.

It makes them popular with target groups of the electorate. It certainly creates a wider client base of people who might reasonably be expected to vote for the same politicians at the next election, if only to guarantee their own subsidised jobs.

Gordon Brown is the prime example of this sort of profligate politician who uses the state's wealth as vote manure.

He throws all this public money out of the back of his muckspreader and hopes it will make his share of the vote grow. Depressingly, it seems to have worked in the past. Morally and economically, it is more open to question.

The man who had the cheek to invoke the name of Prudence has, in fact, been on a ten-year bender with our money. The only reason the British people did not notice was that Brown used such complex language and tricksy schemes.

Prime Minister? Prime culprit, more like.

Ed Balls - [Balls by Name Balls by nature]

The Cabinet minister and his wife, fellow minister Yvette Cooper, are high Brahmins of the modern elite and it is their presumption, their lack of understanding for the 'lower orders' of the country, which makes them such an insufferable and dangerous menace.

With their accents, they seek to convey an unconvincing matey-ness. Balls speaks in a strangulated Mockney, which manages to be both staccato and foggy. It is also peppered by delay phrases, such as 'errr', and by little stammers. So bright! Yet so ineloquent!

Yvette labours for a northern twang, making her short 'a' even more aggressive when she is fighting off criticism. Few onlookers would guess she was reared in southern England - in Hampshire, thank you - or that her husband, who loves to attack David Cameron for his public school background, himself attended a fee-paying school.

This background to the Ballses sits comfortably with their record of 'nanny knows best' interference. The nonsense of tax credits? Classic Balls. Stealth taxation? Yet more Balls. His wife pushed through the Bill that made Home Information Packs compulsory. Form-filling, cost-incurring, pointless job-creating: that's the Ballses for you.

David Blunkett - When obituarists sit down to assess the life's work of David Blunkett, which of his many achievements will they place in the opening paragraph?

Will Blunkett be remembered as the man who with two ill-considered policies - trebling work permits and waiving restrictions on entry from new EU states - helped cause the immigration explosion at the start of the 21st century?

Was he not also the Education Secretary who overloaded school teachers with expensive 'Citizenship' classes, even as the teaching of chemistry, foreign languages and other more demanding disciplines plunged to a parlous low?

Just as he was the Home Secretary who had the wheeze of cut-price police officers - Police Community Support Officers - who proved to be so scared of the public that they would not even confront 13-year-olds.

Immigration, law enforcement, education. In a rare triple whammy, Blunkett helped cock them all up. What a guy!

Michael Martin - For eight years the House of Commons was stuck with Michael Martin as the Speaker. He was an exceptionally bad one and his tenure has weakened our public life. He does not have a quick mind. All right, let's be blunt. He's a thick as cold custard.

Repeatedly, he has been open to accusations of favouring Labour MPs (particularly Scottish men) over Conservatives (particularly those with fruity Southern accents). He has more than once lost his temper, jabbing a finger and spitting fury at an aristocratic Tory. He has been a clumsy class warrior - a figure of lamentable comedy. With this gallumphing idiot in charge, is it any wonder the House of Commons is regarded as a joke?

Alastair Campbell - Campbellisation corroded the British Government machine. While he was in Downing Street, pushing his views down the public throat in TV studios, touring the country with his stage show and promoting his grievances in book form, he spread through our land the germ of totalitarianist vehemence. It is something we could - generally speaking - do without.

Why OFCOM is Not Fit For Purpose

Quote: "Created by the present Government, it [Ofcom] is rather like an out-of-control child that sometimes attacks its own parents and ignores anything  it  doesn’t like.  It is dominated by media luvvies and telecoms economists, with spectrum management coming a poor last (just one fact, out of many: they have reduced EMC enforcement / interference  staff  by  60%  since  taking  that  duty  over from the Radiocommunications Agency). And it has its  own  effective  spin  machine  that  –  like  the  whole organisation – is not accountable to anyone, which is not surprising when you realise that both of its Chief Executives have been No.10 spin-doctors themselves!”  more >

The Conservatives have already indicated as much and that they would scrap Ofcom and replace it with something more effective should they be returned to power. But would any replacement for Ofcom be any better?

The PLT Issue: Find out why OCOM IS NOT FIT FOR PURPOSE here >

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News Reviews of 1990 and 1991

Everything Changes...... Everything Stays The Same.

We have just added the IRN News Reviews of 1990 and 1991 to the Airwaves page and the BRMB Review of 1991 to the BRMB Audio page.

The BRMB recording starts with the station's usual news bulletin which includes reports of the war in the Middle East, bankers under fire and Britain in recession. It all sounds very familiar as we sit here in 2009.

Have a listen!

The truth is our government, law makers, nor Ofcom as the regulator can take the necessary steps to protect against this harmful electromagnetic pollution due to such power being handed to Brussels and the E.U. Commission.

Find out more the meddling E.U. bureaucrats and this terrible state of affairs here >>

This matter is considered so serious that the Radio Socitey of Britain is finding it necessary to take the matter to law. More here >>

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Please Sign the petition below to help save radio reception.

The use of important radio bands used by many individuals and organisations is threatened with being wiped out by an irresponsible technology called PLT. Please sign the petition the the government to help remove these disastrous sources on interference: The petition runs until 24th October 2009 - so please be quick. Thanks.

Perfection - I was reminded of this by The Reverend George Dobbs, published in Practical Wireless Magazine:

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."  [Antoine de Saint Exupery]

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Pixels - I have had two digital cameras in a row that have suffered a so-called dead pixel on the image sensor. The first camera was a Canon, last year that had a constant white pixel, and the most recent one was a Nikon, this year, that suffered a constant red pixel. Dead pixels on the sensor will be recorded on every single photograph taken. Both cameras were under guarantee and both manufacturers fixed the problem within a few weeks. The Nikon came back with the warranty repair report stating that the dead pixel had been mapped out. This presumably means that although the sensor is physically faulty, the software within the camera will ignore / blend out the hot pixel.

I cannot now detect the dead pixel in the resulting images, bit I do feel a bit cheated. The sensor in the camera is still physically faulty, but the software kludge is covering up the evidence and, admittedly, does appear to work. However I was sold the camera on the basis that it has 12,000,000 pixels not 11,999,999 !

The retailer was quick to point out that manufacturers have a policy that allows a certain number of dead (or hot) pixels per sensor. I have read this about display panels too. Some LCD computer screens and LCD televisions might be allowed three or four dead pixels before the manufacturer will accept a warranty claim. It's a good get-out for the manufacturers of expensive LCD products but cold comfort for the unwary consumer who could spend hundreds of pounds on a flash new telly only to find that those three bright and annoying hot pixels will not be fixed because the warranty does not cover such a fault.

I have my doubts over the new wave of LCD and plasmas televisions anyway. Our lovely 29 inch Sony Trinitron is at least seventeen years old, a traditional heavy CRT screen, and is still going strong, despite being dropped by the removal men. However I have seen many relatively new LCD and plasma screens in various locations, homes, shops, banks that have horrible picture faults. Not menu set-up faults, but physical display panel faults.

I have even seen LCD and plasma screens on sale and on display in electrical shops that have nasty dead marks and burn-outs on their screens. At work we have a number of LCD computer monitors, some of which are showing various physical faults with the display panel. It does not look very promising for the long term ownership of these whizzy new products.

I wonder just what proportion of current LCD and plasma televisions and LCD computer displays will be functioning in seventeen years time without any picture faults?


Defective Pixel
AV Forums
Dead Pixel Policies

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Energy Saving Light bulbs (CFL's) - Like many people we have been convinced to replace most of our ordinary tungsten filament light bulbs with low energy CFL (compact fluorescent lamp) bulbs. Why? Well to save on electricity bills of course - oh, and to be environmentally friendly of course just as all the government propaganda tells us we must be.

Two problems, well three actually:  One: The greedy energy companies have increased their prices so vastly that there has been no reduction in bills at all, in fact as we all know electricity bills have gone through the sky. Of course continued use of incandescent bulbs would have caused even higher bills, but never the less it is very annoying. The subject of ridiculously over-inflated utility bills deserves an entry all of its own.  Two: I'm not convinced by the environmental credentials of the so-called energy saving light bulbs. CFL's may consume less electrical energy while in use, but they are really rather complex electronic devices when compared to the humble tungsten light bulb. CFL's contain nasty poisonous chemicals (mercury) and because of their complexity must surely take large amounts of energy and resources to manufacture compared to the simple incandescent lamp. Of course the idiotic E.U. want to ban incandescent light bulbs in favour of CFLs despite doubts over CFL's environmental friendliness (cost and use of resources and energy in manufacture and the presence of poisonous mercury and the potential contamination risks.In typical E.U. style mercury seems to be fine in CFL's although they want to ban it in everything else! Nonsense.)  Three: CFL's are often too big or of too awkward a shape to directly replace a standard bulb in some light fittings. It was, in fact, my battles trying to fit a CFL into a bathroom light fitting that prompted me to write this. I have not found an energy saving bulb that will fit, so we're still using an ordinary bulb in the bathroom!

Rod Elliot has written an excellent article about the problems with fluorescent lamps:
http://sound.westhost.com/articles/incandescent.htm

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Isle Of Man - In June we went to the Isle of Man, just for three days, but we had a wonderful time and enjoyed some nice weather. We flew with FlyBe who were excellent, on a Bombardier (DeHaviland) Q400 dash 8 aeroplane, landing at Ronaldsway airport on the island.

You can see some of our photographs in The Gallery